4 weeks out

So I am 4 weeks out from d day. To say I’m a mess is putting it politely. The last few weeks have been a constant drip of information, as and when WH feels like telling me more. It’s also been weeks of him blaming me for his life failures. For him running around with the AP and basically raising her kids instead of his own for a couple of years.
He goes from telling me how much he hated me and wanted to hurt me to how much he hated every minute of the deception. How he’s tried for years to make it up to me. Even though I didn’t know. He wants to separate but co habit. He wants to move out and divorce.
Then he flips to it being my fault all over because she got him and I didn’t.
He goes for a few days being helpful, cooking and giving me space. Then he goes on the attack again with me being to blame.
I am exhausted. I just want some peace. Some space for me to process. I don’t want to be near him but it hurts because I love him and the future I see, us apart and me not seeing my girls everyday breaks me. I guess I came here to not feel so alone. I know they aren’t together now and I know it’s been over for years. But I can’t believe this was the last one. People like this don’t stop and I wonder when the lies will stop. We went to MC and in my session the therapist identified he’s a narcissist straight off and is very supportive but after years of this I even feel she could be playing me. It gets easier right?

7 comments posted: Sunday, July 20th, 2025