To all wayward partners who might be stuck out there in self recrimination:
You came here to confess.
You, like I, fucked up in no small measure, on keeping good the societal metrics of honesty, the very basis of a well-functioning society. You fucked up your communications. You may have lost your intimate relationship permanently, or you may be reconciled and now need to live in a permanent till death state of ambiguity or questioning with that partner.
You may have lost the respect of friends, family members, children. You have, like me, measured by many good metrics, Failed. You did not keep to what to most seems to be a simple promise.
I want to tell you wholeheartedly:
You
Are
Forgiven.
You are not forgiven because your marriage survived.
You are not forgiven because you have become a better partner.
You are not forgiven because you still have your house or because you still have your job.
And even if nobody else ever forgives you, please, forgive yourself.
Take responsibility. Make the amends you can. But whatever their outcome, forgive yourself.
